By Jenny Dewar
On discussing this with several people who have suffered a loss the overwhelming response was that while books and resources were helpful, it was the person-person contact that was the most influential to people. These took the form of friends and family, as well as support groups, both online and in real life.
Sands NZ http://www.sands.org.nz/ Stillbirth and newborn death support – ands New Zealand is a network of parent-run, non-profit groups supporting families who have experienced the death of a baby. They have over 25 groups/contact people around the country
Christchurch branch contacts
Malia Hill (03) 323-9850 /027 293-3167 email firstname.lastname@example.org
- Sands Canterbury mobile 021 103-4911
Support Meetings: First Monday of month, 7:30pm
St Albans Community Centre
1047 Colombo Street, Christchurch
Miscarriage NZ http://www.miscarriagesupport.org.nz/ – a team of volunteers of various ages who have all experienced the loss of their own babies and would like to provide emotional support and information for women and their families during and after miscarriage and subsequent pregnancies
Twin Loss http://www.twinloss.org.nz/ a New Zealand-wide group for those who have lost one or more or all of their twins, triplets or more in a multiple birth from early pregnancy to childhood and beyond including the loss of a twin sibling in adulthood.
SIDS New Zealand Incorporated http://www.sids.org.nz/ is a national organization established to provide services for families and communities who have had children of any age die suddenly and/or unexpectedly of any cause including SIDS
The International Stillbirth Alliance (ISA), http://www.stillbirthalliance.org/ a non-profit coalition of organizations dedicated to understanding the causes and prevention of stillbirth. Its mission is to raise awareness, educate on recommended precautionary practices and facilitate research on the prevention of stillbirth. ISA serves as a centralized resource for sharing information and connecting organizations and individuals.
Various online support forums –
Mothering.com – forum section under “pregnancy and birth loss”
Trademe.co.nz – communities – parenting – look for a thread called “bereaved parents” and “stillborn support thread”
Everybody.co.nz – communities – “stillbirth and neonatal death”
http://www.thelostones.co.nz/ – under ‘forums’
Books available from Homebirth Association library
Located at the Midwifery Resource Centre 376 Manchester Street, Christchurch
Coping With Miscarriage: Kitch Cuthbert and Sandra Van Eden Long
Written to help New Zealand woman and their partners cope. It explains the process and aftermath of miscarriage in physical and emotional terms, it suggests ways in which women can help themselves come to terms with their miscarriages and derive support from their families, friends and the community. There is also a chapter written for men, explaining how they can help and support their partner and cope with their own feelings.
Empty Arms: Deborah J. Watkins-Fairless
Other books which may be helpful
Life after Baby Loss: Nicola Miller-Clendon
A guide to pregnancy and infant loss and subsequent pregnancy in New Zealand. Written by a practicing midwife and a mother who has lost four babies at various stages of pregnancy, including a stillbirth.
Empty Cradle Broken Heart: Deborah L Davis
Surviving the death of your baby. An extensive resource from the US. All aspects relating to grief are discussed. Other related topics include the parental relationship and issues especially affecting fathers; support networks; trying again and the subsequent pregnancy; parenting after your loss
We Were Gonna Have a Baby but We Had an Angel Instead: Pat Schwiebert and Taylor Bills
Picture book which is simply written and beautifully illustrated. Aimed at pre-schoolers but may be helpful for any age. Available in NZ through Fishpond.co.nz